i feel so shagged today.. i really cant stand it when im stuck at home. it makes me feel lazy and makes me feel like a bum. looking for a temp job but not that easy. because i don't do jobs that don't add value to my life. currently im working on my digital drawings which is not easy but comes with practice practice and more practice. june really didnt seem in the mood to talk.. well actually alot of times. hah.. anyway don't have much to say already.

signing off
time: 2.22pm
date: thursday, 140607

was at velvet underground on sat... really sweet place. i went with daryl and wai. it was pratically one of those days when i danced really hard and all out. it was awesome. and coincidently sharmaine was at zouk and phuture.. phuture really has no future man. and don't know why people still go there. the music sucks the place sucks. get a life y'all....

am looking forward to the next time i go there. wai introduced me the brandon. the dj over there. cool dude. anyway i really did enjoy myself. the velvet couches, the music, the ambience.. sigh anyway really tired so i'm gonna knock off and come back another time.

signing off
time: 0507 am
date: sunday 100607

finally i get to update my blog.. been pretty busy the past few weeks, with school and term tests. so now its term break. i don't wanna dwell too much on the term test because i made a lot of careless mistakes, some of which were really really dumb. yup. anyway i'm glad its over, so yeah.

so i missed someone's bdae because of the exams and stuff. you know sometimes you can just tell how much you really mean to someone. how? by their responses to certain things. and do u know what is a turn off? when 2 people give the same present. but hell.. i should have thought about that.. overlooked it. oh well....... hmmmm i can sense something coming.. its just a matter of time that i will soon get tired. but i don't know. she is one of those rare kinds you know.. most of the past experiences i can make quick decisions within 2-3 weeks of knowing them maybe less, but this one? nah.. kinda tough.

anyway.. will be going to zouk with daryl and aaron and some of his friends later.. just in case you didnt know, its already 2 am.. yup hmm its 2am and im thinking wat should i wear tonight.. lol.. ok thats it.. i will update after coming back from zouk.

signing off
time: 2.05 am
date: sat 90607

today was another uneventful day... finished school at 1.. slacked around at the opposite kopitiam with janson and yu sheng. went off around 3 plus. reached northpoint and had my lunch there bought some toiletries and ya went home to do revision for cmaths 1. seriously, i'm kinda getting bored with poly life.. its so routine like. you wake up, go to sch then you just wanna go home, rest and then get down to projects and revision. then if you work, its just as bad. but really i need to work also and DEFINITELY some job that adds value to my life.. not just some sales job in a shop kinda setting? ya.

anyway.. i have always been 90% rite about models.. haha not gonna touch on it more. =) oh ya juvone finally sent me that gay pic of me during CMSY lab.. haha here it is























woohoo.. LENON HAS A CONTESTANT!!!
signing off

time: 2104pm
date: thursday 240507

today was just another one of those days. had to wake up early again.. drag myself out of bed and start the day. did com skills presentation on Saudi Arabia... what the hell.. lame la. so today finished at 11.. then went to the library, met Rosanne. she's sweet and nice, very pleasant personality. easy on the eye. and yeah chatted like nobody's business.. coz i thought she was taking a break... talked bout clubbing and yeah, that's as far as it gets for now .. haha..(ya miss rosanne told me to write this down. but its quite true.. haha)

later on, met up with feshal and maggie for lunch at bugis. had chicken rice and laksa one after the other at Tong Seng coffeshop. then went home.. talked to my buddy.. he gave me some insight. one man can have many pretty female friends, but at the end of the day, he only needs one to love him whole heartedly. take me for example... when i go for NS.. how many of these friends will understand the shit i will go through and will stick with through thick and thin? well.. we'll see in future who will be that Angel.. thats about it for now.
cheers

time: 1051 pm
date: wednesday 230507

i was just thinking today... so many questions running through my mind. sometimes its the self conscious mind that throws me the questions. is it my image? is it the way i communicate? is it the way i present myself? it cant be. but why? all these years and i don't know why. its kinda pathetic actually.

how many people have i seen that fall in and fall out. it really makes me wonder. even assholes get them. everybody tells me the same shit.. i am so sick of hearing it. all the more it makes me not wanna believe in it. they all say: "the time will come, the time will come, the time will come, the time will come.." what the fuck... its not that i am impatient its just that how many years has it been already?? what am i to do? leave it to fate??? balls to you i would say. or is it true that i am already classified as an AFC? well i know PUAs would say that but.. come on, in life we have to be realistic right? not many people know the truth. my best friend thinks im some kinda social butterfly. sure i may know a lot of people but they just come and go come and go, thus the questions that are running through my head. of course i do have the confidence. but fuck, it does not seem to be helping. i won't say i am desperate. i may sound like one but think about it.. all these years and i don't have a good reason?? cut me some slack. and definitely i don't just take anyone. uh huh.. are my standards too high? can't be. im realistic enough. and i have told people what my standards are like. its obviously realistic.

maybe i should learn some things from nathaniel ( childhood buddy by the way). well it just seems that throughout these years there never seemed to be someone that suits the bill. im not being emotional, im just curious to know why thats all. all i need is my questions answered. thats all i need damn it. sometimes you get "them" complaining as well. same thing, always asking why. every now and then i would put deep thought into this. NOT ALL THE TIME.. its called self reflection.. wtf.. some of you guys might probably be laughing your asses off! oh well oh well.... again its unanswered.. when will i get the answer? Oh please God tell me!!

there's this song that i listen to and i find that it does speak of how i feel. the first verse goes like this:
verse:
Lead me where the vultures are waiting
Close my eyes fade into death
Slide me down where demons are hungry
For the first time the pain won't last.

Is there a flare in the middle of the desert
Would it please guide me home
I'm lost and found, but now im forgotten.

chorus:
I'm not afraid to be alone,
I give you my heart speaking
Its true that the earth and the muses
They know your neigh

I'm not afraid to be alone
I give you my word screaming
It's true that one day, this present phase
Will fade away...

verse:
Day breaks and the night fades away
Leaves me with an empty brain
I'm sitting down when the silence seems unto me
Break down, I feel it again..

Are we the hopes that you've all forgotten
Lay on my back and i dream of screams
Will we ever be the same

chorus

Are we the hopes that you've all forgotten
I dream of screams will we ever be the same?

chorus(x2)

blah blah blah.. im too lazy to type the rest.. but yeah you should get the idea. alright thats it.

time: 0137 AM
date: tuesday 220507

CCN day.. wth.. managed to sell one box of donuts and all the drinks also sold out, but not sure how much we made. it was dumb, fun,boring,crap all at one shot. so can you imagine how it feels like? yeah you should get my drift.

then took a cab rushed back home, bathed then went out again and dropped by suntec city, saw her , she smiled back and i winked back.. yup. that's it then went to clarke quay for cg afterthat went cine with david to have supper. and back home. uneventful day but yet eventful.. huh?? haha

if you guys were wondering why there aren't any photos yet, that's because I'm not a cam whore.. goodness..

time: 0309 AM
date: saturday 190507